Today I want to blog about BLOWJOBS! As a phone sex operator, I give a lot of phone head. It takes a bit of creativity (but not too much!) to imagine a hard cock in my face with just a voice on the other line. If he’s got a deep voice, I picture a thick, veiny but short cock. 5 inches, max. If his voice is more mid-range, I picture one of those curving cocks that swoop upward towards the sky, with a really defined dark pink head. If he’s got a softer voice, I picture an arrow-straight, smooth, skinny and long cock- 8 inches maybe- pointing right at my lips. If he’s got a Euro accent- I know he’s probably uncut, and so I make sure I let him know I’m peeling back that sexy foreskin first! And a black cock…well, that’s easy, isn’t it?
So, the obvious thing here is that GUYS LOVE BLOWJOBS. I don’t think anyone will argue that. So why does it seem that SOME women aren’t into giving them? Are they just total prudes who deserve our scorn? Or are they BJ sluts-in-waiting, and the “right” cock is going to unleash their inner whore? I was pondering this question all last month, so I decided to do something about it.
Since I’ve always been more than happy to swallow the meat stick, I started to ask some of my more “normally-employed” female friends about if they do, or don’t, give head. I’m changing their names to protect the innocent!
“Leah” I’ve known for six years. She’s 29, works at an insurance company, has one kid, and has been dating the same guy for more than a year. When I asked her if she “gladly gives head”, she said “sometimes”.
I pressed further: “What times don’t you mind—or actually LIKE—giving head?”
As it turns out, Leah was using head to fend off regular sex. As in, when she didn’t feel like having sex but her partner wanted it, so was “placating him” (my words, not hers) with a blowjob instead. No wonder she wasn’t really into it—it had become the compromise between them when she wasn’t feeling super sexual.
“Monica”, as it turned out, loves giving head. Maybe TOO much. She’s 26, and I’ve known her for about three years. She manages two buildings, and this affords her A LOT of free time. Apparently, she fills this free time with blowjobs! She’s not dating “anyone special”, but she’s blowing half of Koreatown, apparently, married and otherwise. For her, she likes the power. I must admit I was a bit surprised. I mean, I knew she was kind of a wild child, but I had no idea she was sucking off half the city- even married guys!
“Kim” is exactly what I was expecting to find. Kim is 34, a realtor, single, and told me she doesn’t like giving head. When I fished, I found out that Kim has a sensitive gag reflex, and always had feared that one day she’d end up puking on some guy’s cock. And since this had kept her from doing the deed too often, she now worried that her “BJ skills” left much to be desired. In fact, Kim was pretty sure her last boyfriend left her for another girl specifically because the girl in question allegedly gave great head!
“Becky” and “Lisa” 27, and 31, are both in relationships, and tell me that their boyfriends always seem to want more head. Becky said she “didn’t mind” giving it, but didn’t know how anyone could “love it”. Lisa said she liked it alright, but felt loathe to give it up to a guy who hadn’t either 1) committed to her, 2) gone down on HER first!
Blowjobs…who knew they were political?!
Finally, I talked to “Jill” who said she WANTED to love giving BJs, but felt she wasn’t very good at it, and didn’t feel she looked sexy while doing it, so she hardly ever did.
That’s when I decided to hatch another experiment: could I give the girls who WANTED to be better tips that would cause them to enjoy it more? I decided it was time to share what I know!
I set up a “blowjob workshop” and invited Becky, Kim, and Leah, and Jill. (I decided Monica and Lisa didn’t need my help!) After a few glasses of vino, I took out the bananas…and turned on the PORN!
Can you imagine how HOT it was to have 4 ladies (plus myself) packed onto my back patio, deep-throating bananas? It really brought out the BI in me, but this was for SCIENCE, after all, so I kept my horniness in check and stuck to playing teacher. With my banana in hand, I showed them how to control their gag reflex by nose-breathing, and learning to let the tongue relax. I showed them how and where to squeeze, how much and how intensely to stroke, and threw in a few personal faves like a tongue-swirl over the head that always drives my guys nuts. All in all, it was a great night filled with sexually-charged ladies—what could be better?
Kim was a big surprise—the girl who was afraid of gagging learned to master the deep-throat in under 2 hours! She was SO excited to go on a date to try out her skills! So, being the sweet wonder-slut that I am, I set her up on a date with my friend Keith- someone I knew I could rely on for an honest response. Sure enough, Kim and Keith hit it off, and the night ended with his lovely cock down her throat…and they both loved it!
Jill showed great improvement too- she was dating someone for a few months and was able to try out what she learned on him that very night! I’m happy to report that she blew him away- literally! He asked her “where she’d been hiding” her suck-skills, and she only laughed and told him there was a lot about her he didn’t know yet!
That’s right ladies…are there ANY ladies listening? Or am I just preaching to the men? If you ladies are out there, hear me now: BLOW YOUR GUY! If you don’t think you’re good at it, LEARN! I’m sure he won’t mind you practicing on him! If you are worried you don’t look sexy, or look “funny” doing it, trust me when I tell you that with his cock in your mouth, you’ve NEVER looked hotter to your man!
And guys…they don’t call it a blow JOB for nothing! It’s fun, it’s sexy, but it’s also hard work! If you want your lady to go down, make it NICE down there! Sweaty balls are not appetizing! Shower, and please, for the love of god, wax or at least trim back your forest of pubes! And don’t forget to tell your girl how HOT it gets you to see her mouth around your cock! And, last but certainly not least, don’t forget to RECIPROCATE and eat your lady’s box right! Hmmmmmm…maybe I just came up with my next blog!