Category Archives: Curated Content

Bangin’ in the Band Van!!!

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Half of my time I work on the phones and the other half of my time I’m a singer in a band. I love the attention, what can I say? And we get a lot of gigs but they ain’t paying all the bills. Haha.I love singing and being on stage but the fact is after the show it’s usually BORING! I sing myself raw and I guess guys are usually intimidated by my look and attitude. It’s dumb- you’d think with all the sexy moves and gyrating I do on stage, guys would be all over me after! But no– they are afraid to come up to me! I just want people to talk to me! Especially guys—I AM single, like, bitch over here has needs too!

Which is why I’m no less than thrilled about getting DICKED HARD last night by a big, hairy stranger in the back of the band van!

So we were playing a show and I had my hair up in pigtails and had on my leather tank and pink shorts and was singing and screaming like hell. And then I saw this tall buy with a big beard and intense eyes at the front looking at me.

Then at the end of the night, I was packing up the merch table and the guy came up to me.

“I’ve been watching you all night, and you’re HOT” he said.

“Ditto” I told him, cuz now that he was up close, I think he was pretty hot in an older, manly sort of way.

“Yeah, so now what?” he asked me.

I knew what he wanted, and shit, I knew what I NEEDED.

“Follow me,” I said. “We have a van.”

We walked out to the band-mobile and I opened the door to the back and hoped inside and said “shut the doors.” He climbed in and obeyed.

His dick was out right away and it was a good one; short but fat with a big, bulbous head that just begged to be sucked on.

I told him to kneel and I sucked it on like I’ve never sucked on anything else! His cock tasted so good, it was so fleshy and throbbing and pulsing and I felt his pleasure go all through his body! I pulled out long enough to say “PULL MY FUCKING HAIR! FUCK ME!” and he growled and let out a scream, I set him loose! He roared and grabbed my pigtails and fucked himself silly into my open mouth. Oh he got so fucking hard it was so good!! He slammed himself down into my neck then played the head of his dick in and out of my lips!! Got it felt amazing.

I was stroking furiously at my clit with one hand as I sucked him, feeling my juices start gushing between my fingers, pussy ready for the main course!

He wanted to fuck me and I wanted it to but there was only one way, lol. I put my hands on the back of the front seats and bent over and braced myself against some amps. I leaned down and looked at him through my spread legs! He still couldn’t believe this was happening, his big grey eyes so wide!

“Fuck me,” I commanded, rubbing my soft red glowing pussy. “Fuck me. Fuck me right here,” I cooed. “Come on. I want you to fuck me. I want you to pound me till I see stars.”

Oh, he liked that!

He got on his knees and rammed into my pussy from behind so SO hard it almost hurt! He was splitting me open with that thick cock, eager to get as deep inside of me as he could.

He hammered me so hard the van was shaking! Rocking back and forth. I didn’t care, I loved it, his cock felt so good stuff right up until the end of me.

After a long time of this—I think it was half an hour!— I’d come more than a couple times and I was finally ready for his. I turned around and lay on my back and massaged my aching pleasured pussy and said here you cum right here! I gave him a look and tugged once on a pigtail and soon he was jizzing! Gave me a big old creampie! Oh God it was so fucking good.

Finally, I got some after a show. I think I’m going to try to fuck a new dude after every show! I just gotta figure out how to get them to NOT be intimidated to come up to me. Do you think if I wore a T shirt that said “FREE PUSSY” that would help :P

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☘ Happy St. Patrick’s from 1800PHONESEX! ☘

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Does this count? This is the only green photo I could find today…

Remember us when you’re drunk and horny later! Can’t wait to have dirty, sloppy, nasty phone sex with you! ;)

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FIRST TIME ANAL! (*Better than expected!!!)

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Y’ALL. Fucking—I don’t even know.

I work in the nights and usually finish my work on the phones when the sun’s coming up. Like this morning it was like that. It was slow for the first bit but I had a really nice chat at the end with one of you guys. After we both came (at the same time—love that) we talked a bit more, just unwinding. He mentioned to me (I’ll call him Tim) he’d tried anal for the first time last week.

Now here’s a little thing about me: I’m no prude, and I’ve fucked a lot, but I’ve never done that. I’ve always been afraid. Whatever, stupid reasons. But Tim was saying the girl he’d hooked up with loved it. At first I was like “Right. Sure she did.” But really, she did. She said he’d just been gentle at first with lots of lube and slowly revved up the speed, and she didn’t just come she squirted!

I get hot when I hear shit like that.

Eventually Tim had to go and we said nice goodbyes and hung up. I went over to the window and opened the blinds and looked at the sun coming in over the trees. I only have a little student pad. But I like my view. Usually after work I take a quick nap then get up and study, but I’m ahead in class these days and didn’t want to sleep.

And I was still. You know. Thinking.

So I made a pot of coffee and took it out on my patio and thumbed through my phone. I’m a pretty busy girl between work and school…I don’t have too much time for my own fun anymore but fuck it. I was trying to think of guys I could call. I texted a few I’d hooked up with years ago. They didn’t respond. I think a lot of them have moved away. College towns, I guess.

I put on my purple silk blouse, my good pants and a coat. I thought if I took a walk into town my brain would settle down. And if not, maybe I’d meet someone—

And yes ok. That’s crazy right? Even a girl like me. I’ve done wild shit. But who goes to pick up guys eight-thirty in the morning on a Friday? That’s what I was thinking. That’s what was in my head.

So I was walking into town on the main road. I had some books with me thinking maybe I could zone out on campus. Get this sudden what the fuck obsession about anal out of my head. Then I was going through the nice tenured professor part of town. There it happened.

I heard my name.

I turned around. It was my old English teacher from freshman year. Young. But you could tell he was old for his years. It was his first year teaching when I had him. Tall. He said he came from up north from a family of farmers. Somewhere cold. He was in a T-shirt and mowing the lawn.

I said: “Professor!” I was so shocked. I had no idea he’d remembered me. I’d had a dream about him. A couple of them.

I could bore you with these next parts. Where we were both being shy. I won’t. He invited me in for coffee. He made fun of my heavy winter coat (come on I’m from the South). I found his wife was away on business. I kissed him. Wasn’t half an hour after I left home I was blowing him in his kitchen nook. Guess I still am a wild girl.

So. I liked him pumping my head and cradling my neck with his big pulsing farmer-stock dick. I liked him fucking my face in that silk blouse of mine. But. But. After a bit I was like “You have a bedroom” We went up, he had a beautiful four-poster elegant bed. It was really like something a princess would sleep in. I didn’t tell him but I’ve dreamed of making love in a bed like that. We were naked and he was about to fuck my cunt which fair enough was almost dripping. But I turned around. Plucked out the little bottle of lube I had in my bag. I rubbed his dick with it sweet and smooth and fluid. And I whispered.

“You ever fuck a girl in the ass?”

English professor or not, I don’t think he expected that.

I lubed us up both good. Put my head in his pillow. Slowly guided him in.

I drew him in slowly, an inch. And then another. And then I lost my breath as he was in me. I didn’t know something could hurt like that. And feel so good. It was like he got between a closed seam of me. But he was sweet. He could feel how I was shuddering. He went slowly. Very gently pumping in and out of me. Opening me up piece by piece. I can’t tell you how good it felt down there. When I get fucked in my pussy it’s right and never hurts and it’s fun in the simplest way, like it’s regular and good but when he put his dick in my ass how he did it was like he gave me a new body. I was concentrated there in every way. Like my skin was inside out with something better. And there was nothing but him filling my ass.
I could tell he wanted to really fuck me— he said “You like that?” and I suppose he broke the spell a little but that was fine. Because I wanted to get fucked too. “I love it,” I gasped. “Fuck me.”

He went a little faster. My body’s engine was revving for it. He said: “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I DON’T CARE IF YOU HURT ME” I said. “FUCK ME!” That’s how I set him loose. He gathered my hair and pulled me back and I gasped like a fish at the ceiling, He pounded my opening gaping hole. I could feel it far up as my fingers and toes. When I got fucked in my ass I felt it in every inch of my skin. He fucked me savagely and brutally. But it never hurt too much. It always hurt just right enough. I came again. And then again. I’ve come fucking three times this morning. And still he fucked me. I thought he could fuck forever. He had me in a ball on the bed. At the end. He loomed over me. Like a God. He stood over me plunging himself in and out fucking my wet ass over and over and over and over and over. I would have stayed there for hours as long as he fucked me. I didn’t once think of asking him to stop.
Finally he was grunting and shaking. When he came, he put himself all the way in. Stretched me to the very end. I felt him gush and his cum trickle into me and drip down the insides. My sore, aching ass.
I asked if he’d call a cab home. Because fuck after that I could barely walk. He did, the sweetie. And now I’m going to sleep all day. On my fucking stomach. Lol. I hope the other girls don’t think weird of me but ladies, you don’t know what you’re missing.

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Fat Girls Are Sexy Too @1800PHONESEX

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Is it still okay to say the word ‘fat’? Or should I say ‘thick and curvy’ or ‘bbw’ instead? I don’t know. Why do we have to be so damn PC if everyone is thinking it?? Whatever.

I’m constantly amazed by how much internet porn has grown to the point where there’s something for everyone – including those who love big women!

Enjoy this sexy GIF I stumbled upon today and yes…we do have sexy, BIG women at 1-800PHONESEX!

Call now if you’re a chubby chaser! ;)

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Funny GIF of the Day

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This is us at work, lol. Except we don’t have live entertainment, we have this thing called the internet and it’s literally FILLED with porn.

We hope you’re having a sex-filled 2016 so far, but if not then you already know what to do! So don’t be embarrassed if you aren’t getting any, that’s what we’re here for! ;)

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I Don’t Know About You…

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big tits phonesex

but we LOVE tits. Big titties. Juggs. Melons. Boobs. Knockers. Dirty Pillows. Breasts. Small tits are cute, but big boobs – there’s no comparison. I love touching, caressing and squeezing my own glorious titties when I’m on a hot phone sex call. I love pinching my nipples too when they’re extra sensitive (like around the time when my Aunt Flo is about to arrive. I get super horny around that time too. TMI?).

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In Honor of Star Wars – CALL 1-900-HOT-JEDI

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We all know by now that this is a joke…right? Well it didn’t used to be (900 phone numbers were real). But we seriously can’t get enough, we HAVE to collect ANY & ALL phone sex-related humor out there. It’s our job and we’re constantly amused ;)

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May the force be with you!

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